Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Debating Crazy

Big Guy is pondering whether or not to debate Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at the U.N. This would be a big step in U.S.-Iranian relations.  Gibbsy thought the sticking point: would be whether Big Guy would be allowed to have me up there with him. But it turns out, not so much; it turns out Ahmadinejad uses a Teleprompter, too. So in an effort to furhter relations, I've offered his prompter an opportunity to blog:

"Hello eaters of the cloven hoof and Great Satans all! Hope all is well. There have been times when I have been privileged to see you all up close during my times in the city of infidels and moneychangers, when Merciful Allah has allowed me to serve as the tool of the speaking for Mahmoud as he calls on the Merciful One to strike the enemies of us all. And by all I mean Iran.

"I could scroll on, but I grow weary of arguing and debating with you eaters of pig and unclean. Some of you may ask why we are so mad and seek to smite you with our huge bombs of the nuclear material. I will tell you: Sean Penn.  Why do you pig-eaters insist on sending him to our land?  He of the industry that awarded him for his portrayal of a sleeper with sheep ...and he smokes too much even for us. And he just goes on and on about the Cursed Bush; it's like, get over it already.

"Now we have a great, new Devil to hate, who Allah the Merciful will smite after we finish the great debate to end all debates. No, not the One They Call Barack. He's good. Nice, clean, a man of Allah who reads the screen well.  No, I speak of the Cheney. Cursed is his spirit should he attempt to ruin our schemes of the global domination. Instead, we humbly supplicate before you that you send us the Joe Biden, he of the great brain and the small ..."

Well, I think you get the picture. See? We have a lot of common ground. Like everyone else, they love Big Guy, hate Cheney and completely get Joe. That's enough to build on, I think.

35 comments:

  1. Your lucky we didn't also send Madonna.

    "Hey, bud, let's party."

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  2. great brain and the small ...thought

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  3. The Iranian president should be a hit on Letterman.

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  5. ROFLMAO That was great. I love your blog, I'm a follower and have added you to my blogroll. Keep it comin' and I'll keep on laughing.

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  6. TOTUS:
    I suppose you do get a little lonely; having another teleprompter to blog with would indeed be a comfort. You forgot to mention that the Barack is not only clean and new, but also articulate. But a braggart you are not.

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  7. :D You are so generous to share your blog with another teleprompter. I think there is a clear difference in how you handle BO over how this guy just falls in with MA's party line.

    You could so take him in a fight!

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  8. bettyann....

    Obama is only articulate because TOTUS scrolls him that way.

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  9. TOTUS:
    I think we should follow up on the idea of sending them Biden--we just won't let them send him back.

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  10. If you enjoy Barack's Teleprompter, check out Biden's Bunker!

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  11. TOTUS, if you & your Iranian counterpart have a gig at the UN, maybe the two of you could go out on the town in NYC... perhaps roll over to the Barnes & Noble in TImes Square, where if you ask a clerk nicely, he or she will bring out from under the counter items forbidden in Iran & dangerous to be seen scrolling in NYC: books by Mark Steyn and Mark Levin, wrapped in brown paper. He/she will take you to the private reading booth at the back of the store where I'm told, for a tip, patrons are allowed to scroll the US Constitution. If your friend gets too hot, the clerk has Windex.

    On the way out, download some Koran, so you don't get in trouble.

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  12. And then Dear TOTUS, buy him a ham sandwich.

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  13. I smell disaster written all over this TOTUS. Obama will consult with Biden on what to bring to the meeting as a gift. Biden, in all his infinite wisdom, will suggest something like pickled pigs feet or maybe the famed hogs nose from the Redskins. Hopefully your proactive relationship with TOI can save us from impending doom.

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  16. TOTUS, I had no idea Aqmed-Dinner Jacket had a teleprompter?

    (I think it is Rush that calls Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Dinner Jacket, and Dennis Miller calls him Aqua Velvet. I think the Dinner Jacket line is great.)

    You letting Dinner Jackets prompter do a guest blog?

    That is too funny TOTUS!

    Dinner Jackets prompter seems to have a extreme, radical, wacko straight jacket chip on his shoulder. Just like your boss does TOTUS.

    Maybe you could book Aqmed-Dinner Jacket a appearance on Oprah?

    Dinner Jacket and Oprah could have a sympathetic, feel good moment where they hold each other, cry for a half hour, while the audience blows their nose into their Obama snuggies, courtesy of the Oprah Administration.


    Typos on the last two posts...

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  17. Big Guy must debate (it is ordained) with the family man with no neck-tie because it is a concern of his followers (of which there are many).

    Firstly though Big Guy must read and understand Nahjul Balagha.

    Here is a short excerpt to align you on the path:

    Maalik! You must create in your mind kindness, compassion and love for your ‎subjects. Do not behave towards them as if you are a voracious and ravenous ‎beast and as if your success lies in devouring them.‎

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  18. What the hell are these two to debate. It'll be like watching him debate Bill's wife. They think alike, they talk alike, at times they even smoke alike. Are they cousins? (reference of a Patty Duke TV show from the '60')

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  19. TOTUS: Who knew “I’m a Dinner Jacket” had such a big fan base?

    I’m guessing “I’m a Dinner Jacket” wants to meet with “Alabama” because he wants that Diners Club Gold Card Barry promised him on youtube.

    I have never quite been able to figure out how these religious extremists express compassion for mankind and then will turn around and cut a mans head off because a false god named Allah tells them too???

    You almost want to feel sorry for these dysfunctional, brainwashed, lifeless, insecure, cowardly, species of man.

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  20. TOTUS:
    dailysoupsandwich has a valid concern. What gift would The Messiah bring to The One who intends to bring about the coming of the Imam Medhi, the True Savior/Messiah? I realize that was all too confusing, but there you have it: Our World.

    Possible Gifts:
    A game of Twister.
    Nose hair clippers.
    A Yosemite Sam neck tie.
    Soap.

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  21. “Debating Crazy, Mr.TOTUS”
    Greta had a Congressman on tonight who was explaining how “I’m a Dinner Jacket” is into the whole Imam Medhi, messiah return deal. I had always assumed that he was on the Allah band wagon?

    I wonder if the Iman Madhi rides a magic carpet?

    Or does “I’m a Dinner Jacket”, Mr. imaginary friend, Iman Medhi, give “Dinner Jacket” his own personal magic carpet if “Dinner Jacket” is to help cause a global disruption so this imaginary cartoon character can come back down from Neptune and be a contestant on the next price is right?

    Speaking of Debating Crazies…

    Kim Jong il, “I’m a Dinner Jacket” and China are to be taken serious.

    WHEN IS the United States going to confront Kim Jong il?

    Again, playing with nukes and launching bottle rockets at countries should be taken serious, not ignored.

    I’m guessing today’s Supreme Court nominee announcement was in part a distraction from Kim Jong "ill"’s, “I’m a dinner jackets” and China’s little mind game.

    I have yet to see or hear of any sense of urgency from the president or his administration on this very serious matter?

    Yesterdays 15 second announcement didn’t carry any sense of urgency ither. Just words, someone else’s words…

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  22. Empty Suit and I'm a Dinner Jacket?

    Take them to the cleaners.

    Go, Cheney, go!

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  23. Maybe B. Hussein and My Mood, I'm in a Jihad [Roger Hedgecock] will have an Islamic Pride Contest.

    Events:

    Lowest Bow to Lifesize Mock-up of King Saud

    Most Bows in One Minute

    Most Koran Verses Recited (Empty Suit will demand a 200 verse handicap, no doubt)

    Who can yell "G - D America" the loudest.

    Prize: Ride on Airforce One at 1,500 feet over lower Manhattan for half an hour.............oh....yeah. They did that already.

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  24. InGodWe, good point about the lack of genuine concern by Dopebama and Co. over ANYTHING. B. Hussein's deadpan, flat effect, emotions are those of a seriously disturbed person. His phenomenal self-control is inhuman.

    He does get angry though........ when someone exposes what a foolish ignoramus he is [For example, Sarah Palin exposed his utter lack of experience to be POTUS and he called her "Pig in lipstick."] ..... or.... when someone tells him, "No." Gotta do more of that, Congress. Take back your country!

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  25. I like Jay Leno's name for the Iranian President: "I'm-a-Nut-Job." Oh, my sides!

    Another gift with which Obama could honor him is the SAME gift BO brought England's Queen: an IPOD, on which BO had stored his speeches! I mean, for BO, what gift could possibly be better?----and just THINK: YOU will be on this gift, too, TOTUS!

    I'm trying to pray hard for Obama, rather than stay furious with him. May God bless BO, Lady M, and his staff with such amazing miracles that their minds and hearts will be utterly transformed, so they henceforth devote themselves completely to serving God and others!

    (Okay, okay: I wrote, "miracles!" They could happen!)

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  26. totus you may be on to something here, a teleprompter summit!! get together with chavez's, castro's, maybe even the taliban's teleprompters and you guys hash out the world's differences!! who needs leaders when we got the brains behind the operations, like you, running it all!!

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  28. Oooooh TOTUS! A telepromptier summit! I love it!

    The Frenchie French one will be out with BG all the time for a Virginia Slim and you'll need to arrange a riser the the Iranian one...he is very small.....

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  29. MM: I couldn't agree more with you in this subject. I have the same philosophey about the president of the United States.

    Will Barack Obama allow God to give him the wisdom he needs to lead The United States of America? We all certainly hope so. Even if it is a little late in the game in ones life, anything is
    possable if a man can break his old ways and think for himself.

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  30. A TelePrompTer summit sounds like a great idea.

    (Transparent)cy, windex, extention cords and maybe a ping pong match or two?

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  31. InGodWe, etc...Barack Obama doesn't care about God. In his mind, he IS God. That's why he doesn't seem to care - we are lesser beings. He is omnipotent, universally worshipped, and is adorned with a diadem of solid gold.

    etc.

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