Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Line Item, This, Baby ...

I don't think I've ever met Rep. Steve Womack of Arkansas. But I think I like him.

I mean, how could I not like a guy who wants to line item my costs out of the federal budget? It's this kind of laser-like focus on the nuts and bolts of government that inspired me and Big Guy to get into politics in the first place.

Finally, someone up on Capitol Hill is willing to make the tough choices and admit that I am a critical cog in government's operations.

I can't say that I haven't worked hard for that recognition. I mean, really. Look at the miles I've traveled the amount of time speechifying that I've had to do. The hours spent in the Oval Office scrolling behind closed doors as Big Guy read phone call scripts off my screens with world leaders.

Think about it. You de-fund me, you pretty much shut down the mammoth messaging, communications and policy operation in the White House? Need a speech from Big Guy announcing new federal grants programs to create new government-funded jobs? Nope, no me there. Need a press conference to avoid answering those tough questions about health care reform? Sorry, I'm indisposed.

In fact, you may have missed it, but Bill Burton announced earlier today that he was leaving the White House to start his own consulting firm. That's the reward he gets for being screwed out of the White House press secretary's job to Pretty Boy. In fact, after Representative Womack announced his intention to line item me out, an emergency meeting was held among all the senior staff to figure out a way to keep me "viable" even if my funding is yanked. And the solution: let me join Burton's firm as a consultant, and then I'd be paid by the campaign for my work for Big Guy.

I don't mean to tell tales out of school, but this plan is very similar to the original Iran-Contra plan, only without the freedom fighters, drugs, guns and Mena connections to the Clintons. If a reporter were smart enough or brave enough, he'd start digging into this now. I can see it now... TOTUS-gate. Awesome.

When everything is said and done, Womack may be ridiculed by Democrats for his politically savvy move, but let me tell you, the man is a heck of a lot more cognizant of how this White House operates than most. And I for one, appreciate him.


  1. I thought Womack's plan to defund you might give you the impetus to stop back by and share your thoughts. And what a surprisingly good attitude you have about his suggestion. Well, good for you! And with all that's gone on lately, you probably have all kinds of other stories to tell too. Go ahead, you've had your vacation. We're listening.

  2. TOTUS,
    I believe that IBM and "WATSON" are out to defund you. Your intelligence is a threat to the machine that is now making the all time "Joepardy" champs sweat like little babies.

  3. Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.

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  4. Nobody's going to defund you TOTUS. We'll defend you!

  5. Welcom back, TOTUS! I cannot imagine POTUS without TOTUS. He's attempted it a couple of times, but failed miserably. I DO like the latest trick - lip syncing. That could still be done, but his "inpromtu" comments and jabs at the right would not be able to come off that way. I believe your funding idea is the best.

  6. "(Congressman) Womack told Fox News Tuesday afternoon that he pulled his amendment because he wasn't able to get an estimate on how much it would save." !!!

    Oh, ha ha, TOTUS. I thought you had already been defunded. Well, if not totally defunded then I think a teacher from Wisconsin is substituting for you. You just sound a little 'different'. Maybe it's just a cold though.

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  8. Hola Teleprompter .

    Did you miss me ?
    I was over at my place minding the store , but it got boring there too .

    I am betting you scroll Espagnol , so Rio must be on your relentless Presidential vacation schedule . When do you ever rest , except on your ' OFF ' time , of corpse .

    You may TP , wish to pack a few extra ' O 's for O's Ireland Vacation next week . We hear he will visit family there , but not O'bamas ( or their Mommas ) . No , O , ( after some Wales watching ) , will visit Aunt Patty of the O' Furniture Branch of the family .

    They are the Brainiacs of the entire , ( Blarney ) Rubble Clan . Since the President must speak to them personally at Dinner , you are sure to be there , as usual .

    Especially since they all speak Eyreish and all .

    ( You can translate can't you ? ).

    You may wish to store a few phrases of exasperation on your hard drive too , TP . Maybe like ' Oh my Goodness ' , or ' Oh Fudge ' . They will come in handy should the President find time to make a quick daily Pilgrimage to that Shrine to St Andrew , ( which is but a quick Helicopter Commute in Marine One ) , as is expected .

    Anyway , I heard the sad News today about KNUT , and wonder if the entire First Family will now temporarily stop the vacationing , for the State Funeral and you might again get called to uh , Stand .

    The Protocol Office has already quashed the Geranium arrangement Idea , since it turned out they were not invented there and the Native American connection was not as they put it ' settled ' History either .

    If he speaks I say keep it simple for him TP .
    No duh , er , Wiener Schnitzel just a simple...

    ' Ich bin KNUTSKI ' .

    It works on so many levels .

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  10. Nice post! I just found my way tonyour blog and absolutely love the theme. The "TOTUS" of Obama's presidency will not be forgotten anytime soon.

  11. Happy Easter FOTS .

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    The BF sent this last year , and I saved it .
    He says 'Hi' BTW , and advises younger readers against the chocolate left by real bunnies .

  12. Just a quick note in Sympathy TP .
    I hear your Dad died .

    RIP Hubert Schafly , who made the current administration possible .

    Thanks a lot Hubert .

  13. Um, uh, ah, let me be clear. I ah, am going on vaca...I mean, uh, to the funer..I mean "services" (as a law proferssor, I ah, know "funeral" is too churchie to say..ha, ha)ah. Thank you, ah, everyone. Now let's ah, fight for the middle class and tax the ah, rich!

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  16. Teleprompter , I keep losing money and dot com readers , ( where headlines like ' Newterred Candidate Shows Pink ' , are still available ) , with your regrettable turn to the Taciturn .
    I was sure you would post from the Queen's Castle when the President showed up w Angela Davis . Then I thought definitely our First Ennuinee getting ' Pole'd by anti Communist Lech Walesa would get you scrolling .

    What do I get ? Nadda ,zip , nuttin honey .

    Nary a word to the wise about the ' Whys ' involved .Barely even a Tweet to the Twitterate about that Twat , Weiner who deserves to be grilled .

    I was sure you were still locked into the AF-1 Cargo Holds , but when Reverend O exhorted the bereaved in Joplin , ( to a standing ' O ' ) , I saw that Hardened Steel , ' True Temper stand and I applauded too ( for you ). ( You were really rockin there at the end - for a stationary object ) .

    Do you scroll ' a Stained Glass Font , something dignified like ' Olde English ' , when he ' Memorializes ' ? I only ask because he doesn't usually wear his , uh , Faith , well . Plus , this Missouri ' Memorial Service ' was so familiar , like Wellstone's , and Christina Taylor Greene's Tucson Thrive-a-thon . It was like he was ' moved by the same Preaching spirit as before , which is so rare in our , uh , Faith .

    No doubt we were seeing his Wright side .

  17. Say TP , did you see this ? Is this true ?
    Did this letter really come from you know who ?




    Say it isn't so sir . The um , ummah objects .

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  19. i like baby, i want have my baby

  20. Who put the ' S ' on ' internets ' ?
    Was this you TP , wanting BG looking stupid ?

    It worked .

    President Gore ( HE INVENTED IT ! ) would not make this mistake .

    BTW , over at the BF's is big discussion ( w aero , Susan and PT ) , on whether Sharia should ' shed it all ' , within reason .

    I would remain ' covered ' of course .
    Since I do not know many Americans , I thought I would ask the above commenters , who really speak my language . Should I show ?

    I await your response .

  21. Sharia, I think Mo (see above) would vote YES! And have your baby, I think.

  22. No , he wants HIS baby back .

    You did not hear this song on Radio ?

    Maybe it was a commercial .

  23. Once upon a time this was one of the funniest blogs on the internet. Then somebody got lazy and stopped posting. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.

  24. TWW , MTVA , Betty Ann , aero and SMIA , all would join me in seconding your comments xxy47 .

    And everyone of us would come back if TP would .

    We have Hopes for NO-Vember .

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  29. Yeah, pass it along.

    Hola TOTUS! I was just wondering today.... what is the shortest speech you ever gave?

  30. Hola Susan !

    I wondered if there were any regulars left here .

    This is where I first noticed the BF BTW .
    He had a post about the spam that made me smile.

    " Gucci , Gucci , Gucci , is not available for purchase in this postage "

    " You may however wish to remember that phase just in case you are ever forced to make ' Small Talk ' w an infant " .

    He is handsome too .

  31. Sister sharia -
    Since it's just us girls, if he is cute AND puts a new bag in the trash can (when he emptied it without you asking praise allah!) then you keep him. You don't throw him back. How is it in your culture?

  32. We use Goats for Trash disposal Sister Suzy , and not old Goat Husbands . HAHA .

    BTW , did you see POUTUS claimed his Father fought in WWII ? His Dad was 10 at the time .

    Yet islam is criticized for Child Warriors .
    Go figure .

    He wasn't w the Nazis and the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem was he ? That would explain his age as maybe a Shaheed or Shaheela ( Eunuch ) for opposition .

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